It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
