I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize