Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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