It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
