In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
