At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
