There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
