i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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