...so i touched it.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
