After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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