if you like me you must not know who I am
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Houston, we have a blender
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
