Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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