It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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