all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
