Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
