I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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