just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
