I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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