well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize