I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
be right there i have to get my cape
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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