Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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