only if we run a train.
done.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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