Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
