Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
