Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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