oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
