It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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