and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
