Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize