his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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