last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
