I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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