The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
