I only kidnapped one of them. chill
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
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