Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize