I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
