You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize