How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
