So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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