Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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