he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
