I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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