I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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