she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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