Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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