Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
