i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
