he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize