im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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