He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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