Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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