Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.

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(281): View more from Texas

I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent

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(512): View more from Texas

we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.

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(847): View more from Illinois

He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned

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(616): View more from Michigan

She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."

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(248): View more from Michigan

wyd

(269): View more from Michigan

Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.

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