you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
