so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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