This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
