I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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