She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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