Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
