Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
