sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
