I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
