I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
