Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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